What is your latest great expectation? It is these expectations you set upon others as to the lottery representative picking the correct numbered floating balls! You are not in control of what others do and the sooner you understand this fact the better your mental state will be! What’s that? You say you’re in charge? In charge of exactly what? Let’s find out…
The first example of expectations is within the workplace. This can be very hard to grasp but, you can influence the actions of others, not actually control what actions they perform. How many times have you scolded others for their lack of what you think they should be doing when performing their job? Are you not also being criticized as well? You may be having the “perfect” day only to disappoint others due to the one-minute task you forgot to accomplish. Is this fair? I argue that when in the workplace to let expectations of others go and instead focus on whether you have first done your job to the best of your ability. At the end of the day know that others must be accountable for their own actions in performing the job that they have accepted and promised to do. When those actions are not performed on a consistent basis the only option left which is likely in your control at least in a management role is relieving them of their duties. That you may control within a leadership role. In the event of being a fellow co-worker only, you should not have high expectations of others as you will not likely be held responsible for their shortcomings anyways! Sure, these shortcomings of others may possibly affect your own behaviors but how much you allow that is within the control of your own mind.
The second example I’d like to cover is expectations set on our own family members. This I argue can be the gravest mistake of all. How many times have you expected your spouse to do something for you and when they didn’t, you completely lost your mind? I would bargain to say many. The disappointment arising from expectations can and will crush your own will to do good for the other. Resentment grows and division begins. For what? Is your expectations’ outcome owed to you? Is this not also a sense of entitlement at play? It is simply an imaginary outcome of your imaginary expectation that never came to fruition. Who is truly at fault here? Is it your spouse or your own thoughts that betray you? Married or not you do not control your spouse’s actions. We can clearly see how expectations can wreck the things we hold most dear. So, you say that your expectations are justified through what, your opinion? Your opinion is simply your opinion, it is not fact either! Do you see the slippery slope that lies ahead of expectation? Enjoy the great things within your marriage and family life. Accept the hardships and make the best out of them as they come. Grow from your hardships do not resist them! You do not choose your immediate family, but you choose your spouse and promise them through the good and the bad that you will be there. Will you persevere or will expectations come in between your word? What does this say about expectations holding more weight than your own word?
The last example we can cover is expectations on those we may not know within our environment. I personally have been a fairly foul-mouthed driver over the years. I am not proud of this fact, I’m indeed embarrassed. Who can hear me within my own vehicle other than the company I keep within? Surely not the “offending” driver upsetting me so. Why does this happen in the first place? It is the expectations I have put upon my fellow drivers. When they start driving differently than what I have expected, the anger begins to brew. What exactly does this achieve other than my own mental state declining all while negatively influencing others in my proximity for no good reason? Another common expectation we put on others is expecting a call or text back within a certain time period of our determining. This is another example of setting ourselves up for disappointment! Whether it is the company that hasn’t called us back or a “friend” who hasn’t text back within five minutes, expectation has brought us down once again. Why is this done so often? How many times in a day can we sabotage our own state of serenity?
It goes without saying that to become more centered we must curb expectations and welcome the things that fall our way. It is not beneficial to use expectations as a measuring stick against others. You one hundred percent will be disappointed a majority of the time! Life is a mental game and when you lose, it is your own thoughts to blame. Negative emotions have to be at the minimum to achieve a state of happiness. Great Expectations may be a great novel but as thoughts transforming into resentment they are not!